You've Gotta Be Kidding Me...

You've Gotta Be Kidding Me...

So, we had the most amazing, relaxing, and wonderful weekend at a great place in Lake George (the subject of another post) only for me to come back and experience some vaginal bleeding. Not the way most people would expect a blog post to begin, but I am feeling a combination of relief and anger right now.

When the doc told me that I had the choice whether or not to keep my cervix, I asked him about the implications. He only discussed the concerns that women raise about sexual feelings and the cervix and that it was up to me to decide what to do. I figured that if I have a healthy part of my body, I should keep it. Well, don't you know that one thing that can happen when you keep your cervix and ovaries -- MINI-PERIODS!!!!!!!!!!! Do you think someone could have told me about that? Do you think my obsessive researching about the procedure itself could have included information about mini-periods? NO! So imagine my surprise when the doctor told me this morning that I was having a mini-period and that this condition might continue to happen each month. The upside, he said, was that it wouldn't be as bad as what I was experiencing before. Only a man could say that. It seems that some endometrial cells were probably still in the top of the cervix, so each month they would respond to the ovaries and hormones. And, even though they try to burn them all away during the surgery, they can't always get them all.

Intellectually, I understand and appreciate what the doctor was saying. I also appreciate his other comment that with working ovaries and my body responding to them it is better for me in the long run with cancer concerns, etc. However, my pissed-off, hormonally-charged and recovering body is not accepting what the doc had to say. I held it in when he was talking to me, but I just want to scream and cry. Ok, I did both when I got home and called my mom. "Haven't I paid my dues? Since I was 13 I've been dealing with this @#$%@%!!! I got the damned thing cut out of me, and I still f-ing have to bleed!!! I don't have any more pads, and I don't want to buy more!!! It's NOT FAIR!!!! The damned thing never worked to carry a baby to term, so I still have to suffer when it is gone!!!!" -- or some variation of that was my rant...


http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/article_256483.htm
http://www.healthdiaries.com/women/hysterectomy/elizabeth/archives/2005/11/the_miniperiod.html
To find out more about mini-periods, read the articles in the links above. I'm too annoyed right now to write more...